• Friday, March 06, 2015

Ask the SHOUT Troll

Dear Shout Troll,
Dude, I am a teenager. But unlike other guys of my age I don't have a girlfriend. The reason is I don't like girls (no, I'm not gay either). But my friends think that not having a GF is like a crime or it makes u un-smart. But I don't think it is really so. So how can I make them understand having a GF is not essential??
-- The “Love” Hater

“Love” Hater,
I get you completely, really I do. I too do not like girls. In fact, I don't like anyone very much. I once tried being friends with someone back at kindergarten. He stole my favourite eraser and then I bit him a little. He then punched one of my teeth out and I hit him over the head with a table. I was then suspended for a week.
People. You can't trust them.

I'm an Aries and I find it hard to not stick my nose into other peoples' business.
How and where do I find a group of like-minded individuals who will give me the importance I feel I deserve as a full on Aries?
-- Aries Master Race

Aries Master Race,
It's important to realise that you don't count and no one really cares about you. You are a completely insignificant little man, a trait you share with the bulk of the human race. Bearing this is mind, it will be easy for you to find other people similar to yourself in importance (or lack thereof) -- to whit, pretty much anyone will do. Just find some random person and hang out with them until they get used to you and stop complaining to the police.

I am a level 24 Taurus. What should my moveset be?
-- Can't Milk Those

Can't Milk Those,
I am going to assume that you have taken Stomp at level 5, Emboldening Yell at 8, a weapon mastery at level 10, and of course your bread-and-butter combo of Axe Throw and Stampede when those became available; some people would have advised taking Triumphant Leap and Bull Slam instead, but their information is outdated and I am sure you have been paying attention to the patch notes. If you have this down so far there's not much else you absolutely have to do, but Thundering Hooves is an excellent skill to pick up in level 30. Some people like Summon Ancestor but I think it's gimmicky.

Published: 12:00 am Sunday, February 23, 2014

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