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The eight stages of getting up from bed

Getting up from bed is probably one of the most heartless activities that fall with profound effects in our lives, especially if you have to be in the car by eight. Normally in such situations, especially if you don't have anyone to wake you up by nagging you for an hour or so or by dumping cold water on your eyes, you do so by setting the alarm to loud settings and at 7:15 am., only to trigger the sequence of events as follows:

7:15 Shock: This is the shortest stage of coping with the change in environment, although it can be the one hardest on the mind and body. One moment you are asleep, dreaming of life in an intricately detailed Candy Land jumping from one cloud to another of Candy-floss, and the next moment you are thrown into a terrible, candy-less bitter reality. Your alarm is going off, your room is a wreck, you still have one of your shoes on from yesterday, and you slept on your hard-covered biology book all night. It is during this stage that the mind uses numbness to cope with the idea that you must get up and go to class, as you still remain unaware of your position.

7:16 Denial: Once the alarm has been shut off, and once your body has dealt with the distress that comes with shock, the second coping mechanism sets in. We refuse to believe that the alarm has gone off, or that we must attend class. For example, the gratuitous use of the snooze button is considered an act of denial.

7:25 Anger: When you remove the one shoe that you slept in the night before and throw it against the wall, only to get a reply from your furious mom, shouting disrespectful statements concerning your professor, your classroom, and your life, you may be entering the anger stage. Anger could also entail violent acts, such as shouting or hitting, towards your pillow, bedding, or anyone trying to wake you up.

7:35 Bargaining: Bargaining is something that happens between you and God. You promise that you'll be good for a whole year and even maybe confess to that murder, if He just lets you skip this one class. The second half of the bargaining mechanism is dealing with the Devil. Common to pre-eight o'clock class coping, dealing with the devil can involve selling your soul in exchange for your professor "coming into a bit of an accident." You know, don't kill him or anything, but if you could make him immobile...

7:40 Guilt/Self-blaming: You decide to go to class. You signed up for this subject. You knew it was going to be at 8:15 three times a week. You knew, and yet you did nothing to prevent it. No one else is to blame except for you. In fact, you are volunteering to pay around Tk.6,000 per month to wake up at seven in the morning and take notes at college. It is entirely your fault for being in the present situation. This stage is especially hard to get through because it is totally true.

7:45 Depression: Thoughts of death enter your mind. The reality hits. You will be spending the next 40 minutes in a cramped lecture room listening to your classmates barfing up responses with their eye-lids barely lifted up with paper-clips, pretending to be awake. You come to the more terrible realization that you will be doing the very same things.

7:50 Hope: As you are putting on your dress and packing up your books, you may begin to think of remote possibilities. Like that your professor is in bed with a case of the bronchitis or fever or that the "test" that appears on the syllabus scheduled for today is a practical joke. Or that maybe, just maybe, you'll get hit by a truck, or it'll start snowing due to extreme rapid weather changes and you'll be preserved in the ice until hundreds of years in the future, when there'll be genetically engineered human clones to attend class for you. Or better yet - that in the future they have finally forged a non-schooling classless society.

7:55 Acceptance: Finally, after many struggles, you accept the fact that you must face the world and go to class. Either that or you can accept the fact that there is no way that you can possibly attend class. Don't worry about what your professor might feel about this; I'm sure that, in time, he will be able to cope with your absence. After all, you tried.

By Adnan M. S. Fakir


Book review
The Treasured One

I remember reviewing the first book in the Dreamers trilogy by David and Leigh Eddings during my four-week fantasy fest right before Eid. Back then, I only had a faint hope of reading the rest of the series sometime in the distant future, but Lady Luck sent me an angel who gifted me the rest of the books. This week, we look at The Treasured One, book two of The Dreamers.

A quick recap is in order: Book I introduced us to the land of Dhrall, governed by four gods, the sibs Zahlaine, Aracia, Zelana, and Veltan. These gods, having completed their task of creation, are preparing for their hibernation, during which a younger generation of gods the Dreamers will take over. The Dreamers, at the beginning of Book One, have already been born in human form, and are being raised by the elders, in preparation of the end of their cycle. Around this time, that-called-the-Vlagh, an evil entity that has raised a huge army of weird mutant beasties, attempts to take over the world. The elder gods, who are forbidden by the laws of nature to directly kill any living thing, hire two armies of outlanders: the Maags, led by the pirate Sorgan Hookbeak, and the Trogites, led by Commander Narasan, to battle the critters. A grand war breaks out in the Domain of Zelana, with Zelana's own subjects, the archers of Dhrall, aiding their foreign comrades.

Without giving away the ending of the first book away, let's proceed to this week's featured book The Treasured One. This book picks up where the other has left off, and this time, our Maags, Trogites, and Archers are fighting in Veltan's Domain, where they ally themselves to Veltan's Farmers and some other exotic people. This time, the Vlagh has learned a few lessons from her previous encounter with the humans, and throws a fresh batch of monstrosities at them, which leave them hard-pressed to adapt. At the same time, the Trogites find a traitor in their ranks who runs away and returns with armies of his own to try and gain the upper hand. It all makes for a very interesting read.

While the first book took its time to build the complete world of Dhrall, it created a basic foundation so that this book could focus more on the characters and the plot development. Peopled with witty, intelligent characters as it is, this makes reading The Treasured One a barrel of laughs. You'd probably get the same kind of dialogue if you crossed a movie like Snatch with a sitcom like F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Now, I'm not sure if this trilogy is available in Dhaka yet, but I did notice some stuff by the Eddings in Etc a while back, so you could start pestering them to bring in The Dreamers. While you do that, I'll go finish the third book. Watch this space for the review next week!

By Sabrina F Ahmad
[email protected]


Rejecting you

Rejections can get to you if you don't watch out. They are sly, cunning and tremendously painful! They can pluck your heart right out at one instant go just like waxing those delicate legs but at the same time “rejections” can also nag you leisurely and remind you painfully of yourself being the most worthless being alive.

There are two main people in everyone's life from which “rejection” spills out without any disregard. There is that ever adoring hottie that didn't give you much attention and then there is the not so good looking (unless lucky) boss of yours who either can't take you for a job in his office because his nephew needs it first or can't seem to comprehend the fact that you might actually have a problem with first impression. Anyway, the point here is that rejection is a part of life and what is most shocking is how rejection is never too direct. It is polite and diplomatic. In fact rejection takes a similar flow of language whether it is from your boss or the girl you are about to ask out:

Boss: “Oh I am sorry; I was looking for a full time employee”

Beloved: “Oh I am sorry; I was looking for a full time commitment”

Boss: “Actually, we have just decided to go for a new look in our program you see”

Beloved: “Actually, I have (just!) decided to go for someone who isn't the conventional type you see”

Boss: “I have been shifted from my last position to a new one, so you will have to contact Mr. Iqbal”

Beloved: “I have shifted my thoughts into settling for arrange marriage as oppose to love marriage, so you will have to contact Mr. Iqbal” (my dad!!)

Boss: “You are qualified, believe me, but we just need to take a further look into what you can give us”

Beloved: “You are qualified, believe me, but I just want to be friends first before jumping into anything”

Boss: “Okay, all looks great, we will contact you soon” (meaning you don't get the job)

Beloved: “Okay , this is really great but how about I give you a call instead okay?”(And she never calls back)

Boss: “We need to have a board meeting before I can promise anything alright?”

Beloved: “I need to think things over for myself (meaning have a meeting with all my Friends) before I can promise anything alright?”

Boss: “Actually we were looking for someone more mature and with more experience”

Beloved: (Just replace the “we were” with “I was”)

Boss: “Are you sure you can participate in all the activities and fulfill all the duties? Because it will be tough with us!

Beloved: (Again, replace “us” with “me”)

So you get the idea right? Too many people spend their teenage years whining over how the most popular kid in high school didn't like them back. They thus cannot concentrate on their studies and end up failing. So for the next part of their lives, they whine about how they couldn't get into any jobs and they don't understand what to do about it. The thing is, STOP wasting time over depression about being rejected. Take it as a lesson and move on you might actually bump into something useful or bump into someone who really appreciates you. Be yourself and be REAL

“We keep going back, stronger, not weaker, because we will not allow rejection to beat us down. It will only strengthen our resolve. To be successful there is no other way”. -Earl G. Graves

By Shayera Moula


 

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