A Woman's Musings on Sexual Assault
Iquietly walked into the room just as a popular Bengali talk show highlighted Facebook comments on the latest incident of sexual assault on the Bengali New Year. My ears burned as I heard accusations hurled at women for bringing the assault upon themselves; the victims were labeled as immodest as they had not been governed with a heavy hand at home. Simultaneously, in a twisted bid for justice, commentators outraged by the attack suggested that the female family members of the perpetrators should undergo the same abuse.
The Pahela Baishakh incident is not an isolated event. While I do not intend to belittle the gravity of what has occurred, it is not uncommon to find similar stories of sexual assault neatly tucked away in dull columns across various newspapers. The victims in those news reports also deserve to make national headlines. After all, we cannot argue that one woman's sense of dignity is worth less than that of another woman. In Bangladesh, however, the term "dignity" will possibly take a backseat to "family honour"; women—particularly unmarried virgins-- are seen as "pure" and often toe the line to ensure that they bring no shame upon their families.
Given the nature of this episode, on a national level, there will be renewed questions about a woman's place in Bangladeshi society. In personal spheres, however, the victims will be tied to the stigma of becoming "impure" and having brought shame upon their families rather than having their personal rights violated. To me, this view was reinforced when a Facebook commentator bizarrely compared women to honey. Like honey, women should not be left "out in the open" as it will attract unwanted attention; if they are violated or "tasted", they will become "spoiled".
I cannot help but wonder at the various sentiments expressed by insensitive commentators. On one hand, I cannot lightly waive off the unforgiving attitude expressed towards the assaulted women. I question what a ten-year-old child or any of the other woman could have done to deserve such trauma. Unfortunately, it is not limited to the mindset of a few anonymous individuals who lashed out on the Internet. More importantly, I cannot lay the blame only on the men's shoulders. Sadly, women also point fingers at their female companions and are harsh critics in the aftermath of such events. On the other hand, I cannot tolerate counsels to subject the criminals' female relatives to the same abuse. I am horrified to think that people feel justified in using a woman's sense of self-respect as a tool to primarily hurt others.
No woman would want to find herself trapped in such a catch-22 situation. Following this incident, I sincerely hope that we do not carry on with business as usual and allow the hue and cry over sexual assault to settle down. More importantly, let us refrain from turning women into the scapegoat on all such occasions. Instead of associating sexual assault simply with the shame brought upon women and their families, let us actively reframe the issue as a severe violation of women's personal rights.
The writer is a contributor of The Daily Star.
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