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       Volume 11 |Issue 22| June 01, 2012 |


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Write to Mita

Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I feel like my life is falling apart. My girlfriend left me for another man a month ago and I just can't get over it. Everything seemed fine between us and one day out of the blue she tells me it's over. I also lost my job because of a huge misunderstanding at work. I won't go into details because it will reveal my identity. My parents are disappointed in me, naturally and I am finding it difficult to explain to them that I am not at fault. I feel like everyone has abandoned me and I often contemplate just ending my life so I can be at peace again. Please tell me what I can do to fix my life again.

Dear Broken,
First, take a hold of yourself and don't even think of ending your life. See around you the misery, frustration and utter dejection of a large portion of our population. Just imagine how life would have been if you were one of them. Count your blessings and be grateful for what you have. Your girlfriend left you perhaps she understood that you two were not suited for each other. You lost your job, well many people lose jobs for a number of reason. This does not mean that life has to come to an end. You are educated, intelligent and well placed in life. Go out there and find yourself another job. Most importantly, don't lose your self confidence. If you have that, nothing can stop you.

Dear Mita,
I am a mother of three and love my children more than anything in the world. But being a mother is exhausting. I sometimes feel like I have no time for myself. My two younger ones are not in school yet so they keep me on my toes all the time. I get very little sleep at night and have noticed that I am more irritable with my children which makes me feel terribly guilty. My husband works late hours and I have very little help from my in laws. I don't have many friends to turn to and don't trust the domestic help to do a good job taking care of them. I do need help however and I am going crazy. Sometimes I have a feeling I want to hit my precious babies and that scares me to death. Please tell me what I should do.

Dear Tired,
You are really tired and that is your problem. Physical exhaustion can lead to mental pressure prompting unusual behavior. Please try to get some help and stop being paranoid that they will do something bad to the children. Since you are a full time home maker now you must divide your time in a way that will ensure that you have enough time for rest, leisure and recreation. Your two young children must be having two nap times or at least one. You must get some rest at that time. Leave whatever chore you may have, just take a book and doze off, even for half an hour. The domestic help can work under your direction; they don't have to take care of them. Use them to play with them, change their clothes etc. Use that time for your rest or leisure. Most importantly, engage your husband to help with the children. He can put them to bed, read to them, and even feed them. Make this into a routine so that you may go out, take rest or just read a book during that time. Finally, mark my words, your children will grow up sooner than you expect and you will find yourself missing these hectic, crazy days.

Dear Mita,
Let me begin by telling you that I am an honest person who has never done anything harmful to anyone and never broken the law. I don't think I have a psychological problem but I have done something that is weighing on my conscience and I must get it off my chest. I went to a party with my husband a few weeks ago. This party was for all his business associates in a large private home. I had to use the bathroom at one point and was shown into a guest room by our hostess. All the other guests had left their purses in this room for safe keeping and I was admiring some of them, when I noticed one of the bags was open. Inside, there were three diamond studded bangles and they were the most beautiful pieces of jewellery I have ever seen. I don't know what came over me and you have to know that I never do this, but I took two of them. My husband rarely gives me any spending money and I don't have any jewellery other than my wedding ones. I know that is not an excuse to steal but I did it and now I am dying from regret. I am too scared and ashamed to return them or tell my husband, but I can't bear this horrible feeling that grows everyday since. Please tell me what to do.

Dear Misled (I don't want to call you a thief)
I am sorry to tell you but you will just have to find a way to return those bangles. There is no other way out. Either you tell your husband or talk to the person whose bangles you took. You may make some excuses as to why you took them such as the bangles were out of the bag, you took them to return but somehow failed to do so earlier etc. The fact that you are suffering proves that you are not a kleptomaniac or a thief. What you need now is the courage to admit what you did and face the consequences. My suggestion is that you confide in your husband if you feel close enough with him or tell a close friend. Best of luck.



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