Write to Mita
I am a 22-year-old man, a second year student of a public university. I used to be a good student at school and college in my hometown. The fact that I have come this far and been admitted to this prestigious university means that I can also compete at the national level. But at university itself, I have not been doing very well. My position is half way down in my class of 65. This saddens and disheartens me and I don't feel inspired to study, for which reason I am being unable to improve my situation as well. I wanted to join academia but with these results I will hardly be able to get a decent job, let alone be an academic. What can I do to improve and make my dreams come true?
Please read autobiographies of people who have achieved great things in life against huge odds. Life is not the same for everyone. For some, it comes with more challenges than others. You have been lucky to get a good education and have come so far. You just need to put in a little extra effort and you will make it to the top. Don't lose heart or your self-confidence. You life is in front of you with two paths. One leads to success and fulfilment of your dreams, the other towards disappointment and despair. It all depends on you which path you will take.
I'm a 38-year-old man. I have a major self-esteem issue. I'm 5'1" tall. I blame all my failures on my height. When my office colleagues don't listen to me I feel it's because I don't command a powerful presence. Whenever my wife of two years speaks to a tall man I feel insecure as she herself is two inches taller than I am and I'm always thinking that she would prefer to be with someone taller. (It was an arranged marriage and my other qualifications were good and she was touching 30 which her parents thought was old so she really didn't have much of a choice but to marry me). This problem has haunted me almost all my life but instead of lessening with time and all my other accomplishments, it is eating away at me and any chance of happiness I have. How can I deal with this?
I realise this is a disadvantage but nothing so important that it should ruin your life. The only person who can help you is yourself. Get out of this mindset and think about all the advantages in your life. If you have a wife who loves you why should you be bothered about unimportant things such as her talking to a taller person? It is also very common for office colleagues to be insensitive sometimes. Most importantly, your complex is mental, and you have rightly called yourself mentally stunted. Please get out of this mindset as soon as you can, this will only lead to disaster and sink you further into depression. Look around you, don't you see short people who have been successful? Think about it, if they have done it why can't you? True, you might have to put in more effort but there is no reason why you will not succeed.
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