Women Want (and Don't Want)
in a Man
sure he is a very nice person, but how can you expect me to
like someone with overpowering body odour?" This comment
and numerous other similar remarks made by friends and acquaintances
made me realise something very simple. There seems to be a
popular but not necessarily correct belief that women have
a long list of requirements about the opposite sex. But in
reality we only have a few basic necessities that take priority
for most of us. Before you read on, I would request my male
readers not to take the following observations personally
or take affront but rather think of it as a glimpse into the
female psyche. To put it bluntly here a few tips on what women
want and don't want in a man. I know I am going to be treading
on dangerous territory but I seem to be from the "fools
rush in where angels fear to tread" school of thought.
So here goes.
get straight to the crux of the problem. Most women will tell
you that personal hygiene is of the utmost importance. You've
heard of the saying "cleanliness is next to godliness"
but what you should know is that it is also at the top of
the so-called list for women. No matter how good you look
or how nice you are, bad breath and body odour will work like
an anti charm. In other words, "you have to smell good
to look good". Women are really not smell impervious
and holding their breath and trying to converse is a skill
we have not acquired yet. Smokers beware as you must be conscious
of the fact that the smell of cigarettes clings to everything
and "Eau de Cigarette Smoke" is a far cry from the
endless number of after-shaves available these days. Dirty
fingernails, spitting in public places amongst other things
are also an anathema to the female contingency. I was also
asked if I could mention the slightly delicate topic of visible
nose and ear hairs. So here I am conveying the simple request
that in the same way that people shave, if you could kindly
take the time for a little snip here and a snip there you
would be amazed at the difference it can make.
that many of my friends have commented about is the behaviour
of their male colleagues. The consensus seems to be that either
they ignore you completely despite having seen you in the
workplace year after year, or go to the other extreme and
behave in an over familiar manner and come out with crass
remarks that can be both awkward and embarrassing. A balance
of the two would be a good starting point.
man dresses is not something that weighs too heavily on our
minds. Yes, it is always a bonus when a man is well dressed
but it does not mean that designer clothes make a better impression.
Although most women feel that net vests should be banned altogether!
Once again we get back to the matter of hygiene and cleanliness
freshly washed clean clothes are a must. So those of you who
believe that jeans don't need to be washed and look better
the more disheveled they are let me disabuse you of this notion.
Washed and yes, even ironed jeans get the thumbs up. I won't
go on about attire but one last thing, we've heard of women
wearing hipsters but men wearing "chest-sters" i.e.
wearing trousers above the waist is really not a good look!
away from the physical aspect of things and get to characteristics
and personality. Kind, generous, funny are attributes that
we all love but we would settle for one in every three. So
many women complain about the fact that the men they know
are either commitment phobic or uncommunicative. To understand
a woman, you have to be able to communicate with her about
things that may seem inconsequential to you but may matter
to her. Whatever happens try to remember birthdays and anniversaries.
If necessary put it in your diary, Palm pilot, Blackberry
etc. in other words do whatever it takes but DO NOT FORGET.
This will show her how considerate and caring you are. Insensitivity
in a man is like a red flag to a bull. Nothing makes a woman
more indignant than a man who is emotionally challenged and
thoughtless. Double standards are also something that will
make you extremely unpopular with the opposite sex. We like
to be treated as equals and behaviour that borders on Neanderthal
man does not create a great impression either. But then again
we do like to be made special without being made to feel that
our feminist sensibilities are being encroached upon.
get to the so-called Metrosexual men of today who actually
appear to embody some of the qualities that we seem to be
looking for. They are well groomed, cleanliness is obviously
important to them, seem to be sensitive to the needs of others,
don't find it beneath them to be able to cook and are wonderfully
domesticated. Although going too far and being too effeminate
can also become a drawback. We still like a man to be a man
but with many of the qualities found in women! There you go
that's not so hard is it? Whoever said women were the more
complex of the two sexes?
(R) thedailystar.net 2004