Safe Than Sorry!
These are actual warnings given on various products:
1. On a blanket from Taiwan -- NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION
2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists -- REMEMBER,
OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
3. On a Taiwanese shampoo -- USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink AFTER
OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
5. On a New Zealand insect spray -- THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED
6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer -- TO AVOID
CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE
BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE
7. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles OPEN OTHER
8. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins -- WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER
YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
9. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- PRODUCT WILL BE
HOT AFTER HEATING.
10. On a Korean kitchen knife -- WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.
Back To Life
A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed
away. At the end of the service the pallbearers are carrying
the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring
They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that
the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years
and then finally dies. A ceremony is again held at the same
place, and at the end of the ceremony the pallbearers are
again carrying out the casket. As they are walking, the husband
"Watch the wall!"
A geezer walks up to a beautiful woman in a shopping mall.
"Excuse me" he says "But I've lost my wife
here somewhere and I can't find her. Could you please help
"What do you need me to do?" asks the woman.
"Just stand here and talk to me" the man replies.
"How's that going to help?" she asks. "No idea
really...but every time I talk to a woman who looks as good
as you, my wife appears out of nowhere!!"
An old man was wondering if his wife had a hearing problem.
So one night, he stood behind her while she was sitting in
her lounge chair.
He spoke softly to her, "Honey, can you hear me?"
There was no response. He moved a little closer and said again,
"Honey, can you hear me?"
Still, there was no response. Finally he moved right behind
her and said, "Honey, can you hear me?"
She replied, "For the third time, Yes!"