The Laws of Life

Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as it well pleases. -- Harvard's Law

Never replicate a successful experiment.
-- Fett's Law

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
-- von Braun

It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
-- Stewart's Law of Retroaction

It is not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.
-- Phil White

There are two rules for success...
1) Never tell everything you know.
-- Roger H. Lincoln

When in doubt, predict that the present trend will continue.
-- Merkin's Maxim

Anthony's Law of Force: Don't force it; get a larger hammer.

Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner of the workshop.

Finagle's First Law: If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.

Glib's Fourth Law of Unreliability: Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable cost of errors, or until someone insists on getting some useful work done.

Glyme's Formula for Success: The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've got it made.

Gold's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Grabel's Law: 2 is not equal to 3 -- not even for large values of 2.

Grandpa Charnock's Law: You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Law of Reality: Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

The Law of Motivation: Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.

Weiler's Law: Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Iron Law of Distribution: Them that has, gets.

Law of Cybernetic Entomology: There is always one more bug.

Law of Drunkedness: You can't fall off the floor.

Confuscious Says
Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

To prevent hangover stay drunk.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out.

Man who eat many prunes, sit on toilet many moons.

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

Man who sit on tack get point.

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Man who lives in glass house should change in basement.

People who make Confucious joke speak bad English.

Source: LaughZone.com

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