Dear Mita,
I am a candidate for the January 2004 O'Level exams. I have a cousin staying over at my house who I don't like and with whom I don't get along. He always argues with me, ganging up on me with my other cousins. I get very frustrated and feel humiliated. I'm just waiting for him to leave, but what do I do until then and what if he never leaves?
--The Wait

Dear Wait,
I do not understand what you mean by “if he never leaves”. Has he come to stay permanently? If that is the case then you must try to accommodate because he must be having some compelling reason. If this is short term then you must try to identify the reason for his strange behaviour. Perhaps he has some problem and needs compassion from you. He might be letting out some frustration by ganging up against you. I think you might be able to solve a part of the problem by trying to get to the bottom of it.

Dear Mita,
I am 25 years old, running a motor parts shop in Chittagong. I have a bad habit of calling up unknown numbers. If a young woman happens to respond to me warmly I try to form a relationship with her. I have many such friends who I have never seen. Recently, I have been talking to a girl from a rather aristocratic family. She is an only child and her father lives in the US. From what I could tell from the phone conversations we've had, she's quite smart and I think she must also be very beautiful. We've talked a lot and now she's very curious about me and wants to meet me. But I'm not very good-looking and am afraid of meeting her because I think I'm in love with her and don't want her to be turned off after seeing me. What should I do?
--HSN

Dear HSN,
You are 25, already a young adult and have to take responsibility for your actions. You know little about this girl, such as her age, level of maturity, family, etc. It is not very rational of you to fall in love with her and expect her to reciprocate. Your looks might not be the only reason for her to say no. Perhaps she is a teenager who is just curious about you. She has not made any commitment to have a serious relationship. If you do meet her then you might want to think of the above.

Dear Mita,
I'm a student of JU. I used to love a girl who I was supposed to marry after graduating. But I heard recently, from reliable sources, that she is now in love with another guy who has completed his MBA and owns a lot of property. She is supposedly pressuring him to marry her soon. We haven't been in touch for about a year after a misunderstanding took place between us. But I didn't think she would act like this after that. I am mentally very disturbed and can't study even though my final exams are drawing near. I want to cause her a lot of distress but don't know how. Do you have any ideas?
--Jilted Lover

Dear Jilted,
I have no idea how you can cause her distress nor do I support it. However harsh, this is a reality you have to face. If she has chosen someone over you then you will just have to accept it gracefully and with dignity. Whatever might be the reason, she has the right to choose and there is nothing you can do. However, since you have only heard from some source you should verify it personally. Moreover, one year is a long time and much can happen during that time. You should now start to think positive and get over this as soon as possible.