man and a woman who have never met before find themselves
in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial
embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman
on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of
the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry
to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering
if you could possibly pass me another blanket."
The man leans out and with a glint in his eye said "I've
got a better idea ... let's pretend we're married."
"Why not!" giggles the woman.
"Good," he replies. "Get your own blanket."
student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances
down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly. "I
would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer
to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his
eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "...I would
He returns her gaze. "Anything?"
His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...study?"
day while walking down the street a highly successful Human
Resource Director was tragically hit by a bus and she died.
Her soul arrived up in Heaven where she was met at the Pearly
Gates by St. Peter himself.
"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before
you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You
see, strangely enough, we've never once had a Human Resources
Director make it this far and we're not really sure what
to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to," replied St. Peter, "but
I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you
have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can
choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to
stay in Heaven," said the woman.
"Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter
put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down
to Hell. The doors opened and she found herself stepping
out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In
the distance was a country club and standing in front of
her were all her friends -- fellow executives that she had
worked with and they were all dressed in evening gowns and
cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks
and they talked about old times. They played an excellent
round of golf and at night went to the country club where
she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met
the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kinda cute)
and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She
was having such a good time that before she knew it, it
was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved good-bye
as she got on the elevator. The elevator went up-up-up and
opened back up at the Pearly Gates and she found St. Peter
waiting for her.
"Now it's time to spend a day in Heaven," he said.
So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds
and playing the harp and singing. She had a great time and
before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came
and got her. "So, you've spent a day in Hell and you've
spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,"
he said. The woman paused for a second and then replied,
"Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven
has been really great and all, but I think I had a better
time in Hell." So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator
and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.
When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself
standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and
filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were
picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil
came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday
I was here and there was a golf course and a country club
and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now
all there is, is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends
The Devil looked at her and smiled. "Yesterday we were
recruiting you, today you're staff...