• Friday, February 27, 2015


A Bangladeshi bridesmaid

By Tanziral Dilshan Ditan
Photo: Sazzad Ibne Sayed
Photo: Sazzad Ibne Sayed

“Oh my god, it's actually happening! I am getting married,” says the bride to be. “You will be a beautiful bride and the wedding will be grand,” replies the loyal bridesmaid. “Where do I do my make-up from? Which photographer? What kind of music? Dancers? Decor? Gifts? Shopping?”
After a while it becomes hard to figure out what the overwhelmed bride is saying. So, the bridesmaid hands her a cup of tea and starts making the checklist, dutifully.
Although we do not have the actual concept of bridesmaids in our culture, we know some of us are actually destined to end up being the bridesmaids, without the beautiful dresses of course. Being a bridesmaid is perhaps one of the most important roles in the wedding, besides being the bride or the groom. To be chosen as a bridesmaid is truly an honour because to be chosen means that the bride picked you above all the rest to be at her side through the most important day of her life. A bridesmaid can be a best friend, sister, cousin or whoever the bride holds dearest to her. The person chosen can bet that the bride values this person for many reasons. A bridesmaid is there through the hectic time of preparing and planning for the wedding as an adviser, errand runner, and confidante as well as to help with just about any menial task that the bride has to deal with. She can be counted on as being reliable, organised and ready to help whenever she is needed.
How do I know all this?  Got my Happy 27th bridesmaid's sari! When we all know, read and write about brides and how to make her beautiful and her day most memorable, it's us, the bridesmaids, who play an important part in ensuring all that happens. Unlike the movie' 27 Dresses' I have not changed in the car and managed two weddings in one night, but I have been to weddings in office attire, ran to the florists from the wedding to get the flower garlands for the bride and groom to exchange and so on. Here are some of my experiences that every bridesmaid should be able to relate to:
Giving the bride moral support all throughout the wedding process. 'Dad is not agreeing with my menu, Bhaiya is not getting the flowers I want, his parents are not agreeing with my parents' date, nothing is going right!' What do we do? Simply sit there, convey and convince other family members. Does it always work out? No! But by the time these issues are sorted out, something new will come up. I once had to pin flowers to the stage because the decorators were not doing it as the bride wished.
Working with the friends and other bridesmaids to have a bridal shower/ aiburo bhaat for the bride. There are always some friends/cousins who will not like that they were not included in the important decision making process in the wedding. Hence, expect some red horns on some of their heads.
Handling the bride's tantrums and cold feet. Weddings start at 7:30 pm on a busy working day and at 8:00 pm our darling bride says 'I don't want to go to the wedding; I just don't like how this nail polish doesn't match my sari. I mean, it's MY day!' I am holding my phone along with hers which is ringing incessantly as her mother, brothers, husband-to-be are all desperately calling to know where she is. We finally reach the wedding at 9:15 pm and all her family members are giving me the cold shoulder, blaming the dutiful bridesmaid for the delay.
But all these stories turn into good memories and laughter over the dinner table with the happy couples. And that is the most fun part of being the bridesmaid. Remember that being in a wedding party is not just a privilege -- its downright fun!
I have had the privilege of experiencing all the behind-the-scenes hoopla that goes into a wedding, and there's nothing quite as wonderful as watching your best friend get ready to start her new life. The joy, the nervous smile, the excitement -- it's truly magical to be a part of something so sacred and to know that someone you love found their happily-ever-after. So the next time your friend calls and invites you to join the wedding party, thank your lucky stars because you're about to have a kick-ass time, and be a part of someone's Happily Ever After.

Model: Shawon, Safa
Make-up:  Farzana Shakil
Wardrobe Shawon: Cats Eye
Wardrobe Safa: Almira
Location: Radisson Blu Water Garden Hotel

Published: 12:01 am Tuesday, January 07, 2014

Last modified: 9:43 pm Tuesday, January 07, 2014

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