Osama Rahman

Government offers information streaming service Proper Gander for only 300 BDT per month

The government yesterday declared that not all citizens had the right to information, but they could get it by paying a modest amount.

Bill to open up to sympathetic Bangladeshi online media instead of Oprah

“She forced me to take weeklong vacations with an ex-girlfriend. She forced me to spend days on the beach with my ex.”

Morally upstanding preacher loves wife so much, he wants two of them

A morally upstanding preacher, who made a name for himself by spewing violent vitriol against more liberal members of his community on a daily basis, yesterday disclosed to the media that he had a side-wife as well.

‘Homelessness a great excuse to work harder’

Is it better to stay in a toilet for seven months with four others or is it better to work 10-hour shifts with no toilet breaks?

People who ‘managed’ crucial vaccine despite not meeting criteria still proud of themselves

Of all the people who inundated the country’s social media feed with pictures of them getting vaccinated, more than half had not met the criteria, data from a public health watchdog shows.

Government employees donate 25% of salary for city’s decorations

Red lights. Green light. Then blue lights. And some yellow lights. It doesn’t matter when the colours stop representing what they are meant to because we don’t have enough of those colours.

Country’s image more fragile than male ego? One country finally opens up

Osama Rahman [OR]: We all want to know one thing and I want to get right to the point. Why is your image being tarnished so easily? Do critical words really take away from how far you have come since you were declared a basket case by a racist, mass murderer?

Government officially launches The Snitches Club

The Government of Chapasthan officially launched The Snitches Club earlier yesterday. An initiative of the Ministry of Misinformation, the club was inaugurated by the country’s leader, who attended virtually from their official residence.

January 30, 2021
January 30, 2021

‘You-first’ policy shows country’s generosity

The recent declaration by the unhealthy minister of the country that no VIPs, VVIPs or even VVVIPs would take the much-wanted vaccines first has spread a sense of camaraderie throughout the country.

January 23, 2021
January 23, 2021

Corrupt officials come up with list of immoral activities to avoid

A section of corrupt officials, using their expertise in, well, corruption, have come up with a list of immoral activities that citizens are to avoid at all costs.

January 16, 2021
January 16, 2021

WhatsApp group discovers cure for crippling anxiety

WhatsApp groups comprising pandemic doctors -- or people who used their free time to research important causes using choice keywords -- recently announced a surefire way of curing anxiety in the country.

January 9, 2021
January 9, 2021

Roosting ducks: Confused Americans still wondering if that was a coup or not

The United States of America, a former colony of the United Kingdom, may not yet be ready for democracy.

January 2, 2021
January 2, 2021

Fastest-developed vaccine ever hastily named ‘G-nat’ by lazy marketers

It was supposed to be a cause for grand celebration, but instead there have been loud grumbles of disdain.

December 12, 2020
December 12, 2020

Saint Martin’s man arrested for fraudulent use of the word ‘resort’ and other adventures

Saint Martin is supposed to be the next big tourist destination for Bangladeshis. Fact is, Saint Martin has been the ‘next big thing’ since it was first discovered. The second fact is Saint Martin will always be the Mario Ballotelli of the tourism world: the potential is there, but it can never be realised.

December 5, 2020
December 5, 2020

Now cartoon strips banned from displaying figures after Micky Mouse fiasco

In a strike against visual learners, cartoons were banned in The Country following complaints against badly-drawn Micky Mouse figures outside the premises of most primary schools.

November 14, 2020
November 14, 2020

North Bardda to be turned into amusement part/resort; it’s not even Goolshan, ministry says

Bardda, or North Bardda to be more specific, which has always pretended to be Goolshan, will soon be turned into an amusement park/resort, the Ministry of Money announced yesterday.

October 17, 2020
October 17, 2020

Shimanta Jalil’s debut rap album is a misogynist’s dream

Shimanta Jalil, who made headlines last week for saying men would be tempted to rap about women if they wore “indecent” clothes, made another U-turn this week and released his latest album “The Burqa Boys: As A Brother”.

October 11, 2020
October 11, 2020

Satire: Shimanta Jalil meant to say ‘rap’ not ‘rape’; claims it was a pronunciation error

Village idiot turned self-made superstar Shimanta Jalil has become the first mainstream celebrity to call out the rape culture in Bangladesh, but he claims his message was misunderstood.

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