It was not clear why he shuddered right after she finished, if it was the chill of the wind or his reflex to let her insult slide down his back. Holding his hands like a shield in front of his face, he said to her with an impish smile that although he had married her for looks, it was not for the same one she was giving him today.

Then like a wrestler striking down his opponent with repeated blows, he told her another joke to hurt her again. "My wife is an angel", said a man. "Lucky you. Mine's still alive", replied his friend. She hissed like a snake and snarled at him that anybody who told sick jokes like that should drown in shame. But he was not ready to give up yet, and took another swipe at his mate. A woman is unpredictable, he said. Before marriage she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him and after death she respects him. Then like an orator finishing his speech with a punch line, he said to her in a sombre voice that he should die if that was the only way to get her respect.

Before she could catch her breath, he came down with yet another blow of joke. A man is incomplete until he is married, after that he is finished. He spit out the words with a roar of laughter that quivered in the wind across the waters. She stood up in a fit of anger and said to him that this time he went too far to hurt her feelings.

They would not speak to each other for a while, and looked into the gathering darkness as if to find each other. The beach was crowded and noisy as children and hawkers screamed and shouted, and unmindful men and women walked about holding their hands. How a man holds the hand of a woman in love before marriage, and after marriage the same man holds the hand of the same woman only in self-defense! He wished to tell her this amusing thought, but gave up the idea because she was already mad.

He looked at the sky and heaved a deep sigh. How could Anton Chekhov be so right on the money when he warned that if anyone was afraid of loneliness, he must not get married! He felt that loneliness inside him in the middle of this crowded beach. His wife was standing close to him, yet she looked so distant from him!

Another joke came to his mind. A son asked his father if it was true that in China a man did not know his wife until she was married to him. The father replied that it happened in every country. Marriage was a mousetrap, he said to himself, because those who were outside wanted to get in and those who were inside wanted to get out. A strong wind swept over the beach as if to resonate the raging emptiness inside his chest.

She was facing the sea, her saree fluttering in the wind, and her hairs blowing like tangles of thread. She looked like a stranger to him, a completely different human being, who was married to him as though one half of something was attached to other half of it. He stared at her for some time, waiting for her to turn around and look at him. But her eyes were fixed on the boundless darkness rolling over the waters, a lonely soul facing the enormity of life in the stretch of the sea.

On his wedding night, his brother-in-law had whispered into his ear that in marriage, the bride gets a shower; but for the groom, it is curtains! His life changed since he got married, loss of freedom, adjustments, the new emotional balance, responsibility of another life, the realisation of going lockstep with another person sharing life, liberty and pursuit of happiness. At times he wished he could go back to his old self, the freedom of choice to wake up on either side of the bed, making his own coffee in the silence of the morning, and taking his own decisions without any interference.

Before marriage, a man 'yearns' for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'y' becomes silent. Jokes are funny because they capture the essence of truth. Marriage is when love is turned into an obligation, when a thing of nature is turned into a spectator sport. A man would go through hell for his love, but marriage puts him through that hell as if to test his resolve. The woman, who stood on the water's edge, was the living, breathing embodiment of his fancy in flesh. Love was nothing but lust for life. He loved her because he loved himself, because she attracted him like the sun and the moon pulled water in the ocean.

He walked up to her and held her hand, which was stiff and cold like a frozen clam. She wiggled to get out of his grip, her face still facing the dense darkness, which hung over the sea. He leaned in front of her and told her a joke. A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said to her that he had lost his wife. Then he asked her to talk to him for couple of minutes. When the woman wanted to know why she should talk to him, he replied that every time he talked to a beautiful woman, his wife appeared out of nowhere.

He was surprised that it worked, and her lips parted in a quiet smile. Howling winds swirled in the silence as gathering tides whipped up the sea. She looked at him with eyes wide open, and asked why he got married if marriage was a joke to him. Then she said with tears in her eyes that this marriage meant a lot to her because she was in love with him. It wounded her every time he cracked a joke, because he should not trivialise what was precious to her.

Marriages were made in heaven, he told her in jest, then pouted his lips to add that so were thunder, lightning, tornadoes and hail. She sniffled as her face trembled in the wind, and she asked him not to be silly like that again. He put his arm around her and held her tightly against him, then looked her in the eye as if to convince her to listen to him. There was no freedom in bondage, he said and marriage was bondage, when man and woman must take each other for granted. That is why, he said further with a mysterious smile in his face, husband and wife need to have their regular spats for the same reason wars and battles keep history fresh.

She was ready to smile again when he asked if she knew what was common between war and marriage. Man is always the casualty in both, he said. A married man might live longer, but he is more willing to die than a single man, he added after a pause. She decided to go ahead and smile anyway.f

Mohammad Badrul Ahsan is a banker.